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65 The Mango George lacks confidence after a love-making session ends with his girlfriend's [guest star Lisa Edelstein] apparently faking her orgasm. When Jerry learns that Elaine faked orgasms with him, he begs for another chance. After Kramer is banned from his favorite fruit shop, he sends Jerry to buy fruit for him, but the shop owner soon realizes the fruit is for Kramer and bans Jerry as well. George discovers the sexual power of the mango.
66 The Puffy Shirt Having taken a job as a hand model, George becomes obsessed with the condition of his hands. Jerry agrees to wear a shirt designed by Kramer's girlfriend, a "low talker" whose query Jerry doesn't hear, when he appears on The Today Show; the shirt turns out to be a puffy pirate shirt.
67 The Glasses Elaine is bitten by a dog and develops an aversion to the animals. While without his glasses, George sees what he thinks to be a kiss between Jerry's cousin and Jerry's girlfriend and then Jerry and George investigate.
68 The Sniffing Accountant George, at the urging of his father, interviews for a job as a brassiere salesman. Jerry's accountant shows signs of drug use, and Kramer and Newman are dispatched to determine the truth. Elaine finds a boyfriend whom she thinks to be perfect but whose use of exclamation points irks her.
69 The Bris George finds an excellent parking spot but must spend time protecting it. Kramer thinks he has discovered the result of genetic engineering experiment commissioned by the U.S. Army [a "pig man"]. Elaine and Jerry are asked to be godparents but worry about participating in the baby's circumcision.
70 The Lip Reader Jerry begins dating a deaf line judge from the U.S. Open [guest star Marlee Matlin]; George uses her lip reading skills to determine what an ex-girlfriend is saying about him. Kramer becomes a "ball man" at the Open but ultimately injures Monica Seles as the latter returns to competitive tennis.
71 The Non-Fat Yogurt Jerry, Elaine and George eat at a non-fat frozen yogurt shop in which Kramer has invested, but gain weight and fear that the yogurt is not as healthy as its purveyors claim. Jerry inadvertently uses an obscene word while near a sleezy neighbor's clueless son, who himself starts to frequently use the word. Elaine commissions a laboratory to evaluate the yogurt and unknowingly gives her boyfriend, Lloyd Braun [also George's nemesis], the idea to promote name tags for everyone in New York City, which he then suggests to the current mayor of New York City, David Dinkins. Kramer's date with a lab technician produces a very odd cholesterol test result for Dinkins' opponent, Rudy Giuliani.
72 The Barber Uncertain about a job interview he has had, George decides to feign that he is a hired employee while the boss is out of town. Jerry receives a bad haircut from his longtime barber but fears seeing a new hairdresser; Kramer arranges a clandestine haircut, but Jerry's erstwhile barber becomes suspicious and bribes Newman into obtaining a sample of Jerry's hair.
73 The Masseuse Elaine dates a man who shares the name of a notorious serial killer [Joel Rifkin] and tries to convince him to change his name. Jerry's girlfriend, a masseuse [guest star Jennifer Coolidge], seems unwilling to give Jerry a massage, even as she takes Kramer as a client. Meanwhile, she is not fond of George, leading him incessantly to wonder why.
74 The Cigar Store Indian While Jerry helps George with a coffee table stain, Elaine must take the subway home; she takes Frank Costanza's TV Guide as reading material. George meets a woman at a furniture refinishing store and takes her to his parents' home, pretending that it is his. Jerry is interested in a Native American woman, but she is offended when he presents Elaine with an Indian figurine as a peace offering. Having had sex with his furniture store quarry, George leaves a condom wrapper in his parents' bed; his parents discover not only the wrapper but also the absence of Frank's TV Guide [he is a collector] and punish him. Kramer pitches a coffee table book.
75 The Conversion George converts to the Latvian Orthodox religion in order to keep a girlfriend who would otherwise break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a fungus cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and, wondering what the cream might treat, convinces Elaine to ask her boyfriend, a podiatrist. Kramer meets a nun at George's church but must break up with her when she decides to forsake religion for him.
76 The Stall Elaine asks a woman in a neighboring toilet stall for toilet paper, but the woman "can't spare a square". Elaine later realizes that the woman is Jerry's girlfriend, whom Kramer also recognizes as an operator from a telephone sex line. Elaine, meanwhile, becomes enamored of her boyfriend's face, but he falls while rock climbing with George and Kramer, leaving her to wonder whether his face will ever be the same.
77 The Dinner Party As the four principal characters struggle to find gifts for a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to purchase a babka; they fail to take a number, however, and end up with a cake with a human hair on it. Kramer and George go to purchase wine but must change a $100 bill and then wait for a double-parker to return to his car.
78 The Marine Biologist Jerry meets a former college classmate who inquires about George; Jerry lies and tells him George is a marine biologist. A Russian author whom Elaine is escorting angrily tosses her electronic organizer out of a limousine they share. Kramer hits golf balls into the ocean, and, when one imperils a whale, George is called upon to use his marine biology skills.
79 The Pie Jerry is miffed after his girlfriend Audrey elects not to share a piece of pie with him; when later he eats at her father's restaurant [the first appearance of Poppie's], he becomes concerned about food preparation. Jerry and George find that a store mannequin looks like Elaine; she becomes interested in its genesis. George tussles with a store patron over a suit but finds that it makes an unpleasant noise.
80 The Stand-In Kramer convinces his friend Mickey, a little person, to use lifts to keep his job, but his ruse is later discovered by other midget actors. Jerry visits an ill friend at the hospital and feels added pressure to be funny after his first visit coincides with a deterioration in the man's condition. George, finding he has nothing about which to talk with his girlfriend, wants to break up but holds off he learns she is being encouraged to end the relationship. Elaine dates a friend of Jerry, and the man "takes [his penis] out" on the pair's first date.
81 The Wife Jerry's girlfriend [guest star Courteney Cox] poses as his wife in order that she may share in his dry cleaning discount. George urinates in the shower while at the health club and fears he may be reported to management. Elaine gets mixed signals from a prospective boyfriend in whom she is interested.
82 The Raincoats, Part 1 Jerry's parents stay with him while waiting to travel to Paris, preventing Jerry, back from a three-week trip, from spending time alone with his girlfriend. The Seinfelds and Costanzas each decline dinner invitations from the other. The Seinfelds are shown the city by Elaine's new boyfriend [guest star Judge Reinhold], a "close talker" who takes an unusual interest in them. George, having signed up to mentor a child through the Big Brothers program, tries several times to escape his new responsibility. Kramer, meanwhile, agrees with Morty Seinfeld to sell beltless raincoats, while George sells his father's moth-laden summer clothes, unaware that his parents are planning a cruise.
83 The Raincoats, Part 2 Jerry and his girlfriend finally have time together alone as they view Schindler's List; Newman sees the two as they kiss and fail to watch the movie. Morty's raincoats are delayed, causing the Seinfelds to miss their flight to France; George seizes the opportunity and attempts to shirk his Big Brothers role. The quasi-feud between Jerry's and George's parents continue.
84 The Fire Kramer invites his girlfriend, a co-worker whom Elaine finds annoying, to Jerry's show, and she heckles him ceaselessly. George, attending his girlfriend's son's birthday party, panics when fire breaks out and rushes away, pushing down children, seniors, and a performer in the process. Jerry takes revenge on his heckler by appearing at her workplace to heckle her; she runs out of her office and onto the street and loses a toe. Kramer finds the toe and boards a bus to go to the hospital; a gunman commandeers the bus but Kramer overcomes him and drives the bus.
85 The Hamptons The four principal characters travel to the Hamptons to see a baby; they find that the baby is altogether ugly. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap and thinks the catch belong to him. George's girlfriend exposes her breasts to everyone — save George — and George is seen naked by Jerry's girlfriend, to whom he tries vainly to explain that, having just gotten out of the water, he is a victim of penile "shrinkage." Elaine is thrilled to be termed breathtaking by a doctor [guest star Richard Burgi] until she finds he ascribes the same appellative to the baby.
86 The Opposite George decides that he must do everything in a fashion opposite of that in which he would normally do things and he experiences good luck, moving out of his parents' house, landing a job with the New York Yankees baseball club, and finding a girlfriend. Elaine apparently exchanges luck with George; her eating a box of Jujyfruits seems to cause the collapse of Pendant Publishing. Kramer appears on Live with Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table book.

Copyright © 2009-2010, Patrick Jasinski.