Script for
The Maid

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Monk's Café
Jerry [to waitress]: Cup of tea with lemon.
George What happened to your voice?
Jerry I was screamin' at hecklers all night. The last time I open for a rodeo.
George Well, Jerry, I been thinkin'. I've gotten as far as I can go with George Costanza.
Jerry Is this the suicide talk or the nickname talk?
George The nickname. George. What is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up.
Jerry You mean like...Liza!
George But I was thinking...T-bone.
Jerry But there's no t in your name. What about G-bone?
George There's no G-bone.
Jerry There's a g-spot.
George That's a myth.
[George takes a bite of his sandwich and gets a piece stuck to his chin.]
Jerry T-bone, the ladies are going to love you.

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