Script for
The Fusilli Jerry

Scene: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22     Episode:PrevNext

At Monk's Café, George and Estelle are looking over their menus
George Look at that. They got lobster on the menu. Who would order a lobster here. I mean, do they bring a lobster in everyday hoping today's the day.
Estelle So what if they have a lobster. Suddenly you're a shell-fish connoisseur.
George You know, I think we really need to be in front of a television set. You take T.V. out of this relationship, it is just torture.
Estelle So, I'm getting an eye job.
George An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job.
Estelle Georgie, I'm a divorcee.
George No, you're not a divorcee. You’re just separated. You're---you're a separatee.
Estelle Well, I'm out there, George.
George No, you're not out there.
Estelle I am, too!
George You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!
Estelle Well, anyway, the operation is on Tuesday and I need you to drive me home because I'll be all drugged up.
George Tuesday? I can't do it Tuesday. Steinbrenner needs me to run---
Estelle This is the only time the doctor has.
[Kramer walks by their table on his way out]
George Kramer, hey, hey! [Gets up out of his seat]
Kramer Hi, little buddy.
George Come on over and sit down.
Kramer Hey, listen, I got to go somewhere.
George No, you're going to sit down, you son of a gun...
Kramer All right, I'm sitting down. How are you? [Kisses Estelle on the cheek]
Estelle So, Kramer. I'm getting an eye job.
Kramer Oh, yeah, good for you. Hey, you have to look your best. You're out there now.
George She's not out there!
Kramer So, who is your doctor?
Estelle Uh, Bakersoll.
Kramer [whistles]. He's good. He's very good. He worked on this kid from Guatemala with no nose. Turned him into Ricardo Montalban.
George Hey, Kramer, what are you doing Tuesday?
Kramer Tuesday? Uh...
George Why doesn't he pick you up after the operation. He's got the car with the bench seats that you like.
Estelle Oh, I don't care.
Kramer Yeah, I know, but I can't drive anybody anywhere until I go down to the motor vehicle bureau and get my new plates.
George Well, giddy-up!

Scene: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22     Episode:PrevNext

Copyright © 2009-2010, Patrick Jasinski.