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At Jerry's apartment.
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Jerry
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Look at you. Why don't you use a fork? You're no good with the sticks.
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Elaine
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I know. I need a lesson.
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Jerry
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You stink. You know you stink. What is this?
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Elaine
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Oh. My ballet tickets.
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Jerry
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Oh. Your ballet tickets.
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Elaine
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Hey, have you ever been to the ballet?
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Jerry
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No, but I've seen people on tiptoes.
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Elaine
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You know, I'm going as a beard.
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Jerry
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A beard?
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Elaine
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Yeah. This friend of a friend knows this banker guy, he's, I don't know, 30 years, unbelievably gorgeous, of course he's gay.
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Jerry
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Yes.
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Elaine
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So anyway his boss has a box at the Met and he invited us to see Swan Lake, which is fine, but he's afraid that his boss can't handle his orientation, so I'm going along as his date.
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Jerry
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Why are you doing this?
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Elaine
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Swan Lake, at the Met.
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[Kramer enters.]
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Kramer
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Oh, Chinese food. I knew I smelled something.
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Elaine
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Hey, is George still wearing that toupee?
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Jerry
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Yeah.
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Elaine
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Doesn't he know how ridiculous he looks in that thing?
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Kramer
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I think he looks fantastic.
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Elaine
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Oh, come on.
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Kramer
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No, I never realized what an attractive man he is.
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[George enters, wearing a toupee.]
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George
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Hey, people, people, people, people, people. Not bad, huh? Excuse me.
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Elaine
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You look ridiculous in that thing.
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George
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Is that so? Or could it be that you're just a little bit worried that you may have missed the boat?
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Elaine
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Well I think they might have sutured that thing to your brain.
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George
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Ha ha ha ha, oh all right, go ahead, deride, deride if you must. But let me tell you something, with my personality and this set of hair, you know what I am now? I am in the game. I no longer defer to the coifed. I'm a player.
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Kramer
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You know I just thought of something. I know this gorgeous woman, she called me up this morning, she's moving into the city, and she asked me if I know of anyone she could meet. Now you can go out with her.
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Jerry
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Well what about me?
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Kramer
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No I think he's got you beat buddy.
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George
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So she's gorgeous.
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Kramer
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Oh yeah, last time I saw her she was, five years ago.
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George
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Well have you got a picture?
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Kramer
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No.
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George
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Well, I have to see her.
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Kramer
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Hey, I know what we can do. I've got a friend who works over at the police station. He's a composite artist.
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George
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Really?
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Kramer
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Yeah, yeah, maybe I can get him to draw a picture of her for you.
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George
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Oh I would love that. You think he'd really do it?
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Kramer
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Yeah, yeah. I think he will.
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Jerry
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It sounds like an excellent idea.
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Kramer
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Hey Jerry, you want this, cause I'm going to give it to a homeless person.
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